


Help me.

by IShipSabrielAndDestielSoHard



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Flashbacks, M/M, Sad, Spoilers, season nine, season nine finale spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-24
Updated: 2014-05-24
Packaged: 2018-01-26 08:08:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1681043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IShipSabrielAndDestielSoHard/pseuds/IShipSabrielAndDestielSoHard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm not sure why I wrote this. Just feels. </p><p>Sam and Cas aren't taking Dean's death well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Help me.

Sam laid passed out on the bunker floor. It had been a week since Dean had 'died'. There were empty bottles of bourbon strewn about him. His shaggy brown hair was matted to his forehead, he hadn't bothered with showering. His clothes smelled old and clung to his body. He twitched softly, another nightmare. 

_"Dean!" Sam cried out, running to his bother. Dean was falling slowly, slower than reality. His face was terribly bloodied. "Dean! No, no, no!" he slid on his knees and caught Dean's head before it hit the ground/ Sam cradled his dying brother's head in his lap, blood coated his hands. "Please.." he whispered, tears rolling down his cheeks as his hair fell in his face. "Y-you promised!" he managed to choke out. "Don't leave me.." Dean reached up to Sam weakly and touched Sam's cheek. "C'mon, Sammy. I'll come back. I always do." Dean smirked softly and his eyes fluttered shut. Sam hiccuped and held Dean closer to him._

Sam's eyes snapped open and he groaned loudly. "Damn it." his face was coated with sweat. He forced himself into a sitting position and shoved his greasy hair behind his ears. With a giant palm he wiped off his face and rubbed his eyes. The only sleep he ever got was booze-induced, which was poor sleep in and of itself. He pushed off the ground and stood, his massive frame swaying slightly. He noticed the week old smell that radiated from him. He stripped his shirt off and tossed it to the ground. He padded to the shower in his jeans.

Sam didn't bother turning the light on and groaned again when he bent to turn on the shower. Hot water cascaded down and spattered on the floor. He shoved his pants off and climbed into the tub. "Hello darkness.." he murmured and let the water wash over him. He stood in the steamy water for a long time, long enough for the water to cool. Or maybe he had just gotten used to it, he wasn't sure. Tears had begun to fall again unbeknownst to him. Sam stood in the dark, afraid to leave. Afraid to continue.  _Sammy.._  Dean's voice echoed in his mind and Sam crumpled to the ground like he'd been punched in the gut. "Dee.." he whispered.

The water was roaring now, he couldn't hear anything.  **Thump, thump, thump.** His heart hammered in his chest and his breath quickened.  _I can't breathe.. Dean I need you. Where did you go? Can't breathe.. can't.._  

He woke up on the floor of the shower, his giant frame curled to fit. Cold water rolled down his face and he bolted up right. He snapped the shower off and sat there. He needed help, he knew that.  _Who would listen? Who would help me? No one owes me anything and now that Dean's gone I'm useless._ He somehow managed to climb out of the shower tub and wrap a towel around his waist. He made wet footprints to his room and threw on the first shirt and jeans that didn't smell. He wished he could call Bobby or Ellen. "Damn it!" he cursed again and grabbed a nearby lamp and threw it across the room. It shattered into pieces and fell with little tinkles to the ground.

**_Flashback:_ ** _"Dee.. I'm sorry.. I didn't mean too." he murmured and shuffled his feet. "S'okay Sammy." Dean grinned reassuringly. The older Winchester went to get some toilet paper. Sammy had been jumping on the motel bed and the bed had knocked a lamp off the bedside table. With practiced hands Dean cleaned up the mess. After throwing it away, Dean ran his fingers affectionately through his brothers hair. "Be careful, okay? I'm glad you weren't hurt."_

Sammy swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to regain his bearings. This was getting out of control. He had no one to talk to, everyone was dead or still blamed him for the apocalypse. Everyone except Castiel. Sam tightened his jaw, Cas wouldn't want to talk to him. Would he?

"Cas?" he called out tentatively. He waited for the telltale flutter of wings. Nothing. "Cas, listen. I need someone to talk to. I know you do." he tried again. Sam was being as honest as he could.

Castiel appeared next to Sam. Cas looked worse than Sam had. His trench coat had a ring of black along the tails and it had several rips and tears in it. His suit was no better, the tie wasn't draped around his neck anymore, it was stuffed into Cas's pocked, making a slight bulge in the fabric. "Sam." he stated in a broken voice. Castiel stumbled slightly and fell onto Sam who caught him with whatever strength he could muster at the time. "Whoa, what happened to you?" he carried Cas over to his bed and laid him down. He placed the back of his hand to Castiel's forehead out of habit, searching for temperature. 

Cas coughed slightly and laid his head back, breathing heavily. "I cannot do this anymore Sam." there wasn't the usual quizzical tone in his voice, just bitterness and regret. "What is my purpose?" he coughed again. 

Sam laid himself down next to Cas and laced his fingers over his chest and remained silent. 

The pair laid there in silence until Sam fell back asleep. Cas glanced over, "Sam?" no response. "Samuel?" no response. He turned on his side and watched Sam. He was fidgeting softly, another nightmare. Castiel couldn't use his grace, for fear of dying. So he did the next best thing, he warped an arm around Sam's torso and held him close. Sam's body slowly began to relax again as his dreams slipped away.

 


End file.
